Welcome Feedback vs. Taking a Defensive Position When Offered

So you were told that feedback is vital for your growth and development, although many times when you hear feedback it derails you and leaves you feeling defensive. It needs to be noted that how you receive feedback along with who is providing it has a great deal to do with how you unpack what is actually being said. Right?

The good news is, defensive mechanisms are a learned behavior that you can train yourself to overcome. The next time you feel like you’re under attack, keep these points in mind.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”

Maya Angelou

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Accepting Feedback – Understanding Your Derailers

  1. Examine your past. Feeling like your being judged unfairly can reveal unresolved issues from earlier years. Ask yourself if you’re responding to the immediate situation or still caught up in trying to justify yourself to a parent or ex-spouse.

  2. Consider the source. Maybe you’re okay with feedback in general, unless it comes from a stranger or someone you don’t get along with. Keep in mind that strangers and adversaries may bring up valuable information your loved ones tiptoe around.

  3. Keep it private. It’s more uncomfortable being lectured in front of an audience. Let others know that you’d appreciate talking one-on-one.
  4. Reframe conflicts. Airing grievances has its upside. You bring disagreements out into the open where they can be resolved instead of festering into something worse. Plus, the process of collaborating on solutions tends to deepen the connection between colleagues, friends, and family.

  5. Shift your mindset. Look at feedback as an opportunity to grow instead of a sign you flunked some big test. You’ll feel empowered rather than threatened.

  6. Affirm your value. Shore up your self-esteem so you’re ready for your next performance review or family meeting. Remembering your accomplishments, as a top salesperson or gourmet cook will give you the confidence you need to brush up in a few more areas.

Accepting Feedback – Working on Communication Skills 

  1. Slow down. Pausing for a deep breath will give you time to calm down and hear what’s being said. That way you can decide how to respond instead of automatically shutting down or lashing out.
  2. Listen to your body. If being defensive has become a habit, you may need to watch closely to notice the symptoms. Check whether your pulse is racing or your jaw is clenched.
  3. Face your feelings. It can be hard to look at ourselves honestly and navigate a sensitive conversation. Acknowledging that you’re stressed or uncomfortable makes it easier to deal with your emotions.

  4. Avoid retaliation. Your first impulse may be to strike back by pointing out the flaws in others. If you resist that temptation, you’re more likely to have a productive discussion.

  5. Offer validation. Let others know that you respect their opinions and want to understand their point of view. Repeat back what you heard in your own words. It will give you time to think and show that you’re sincere about collaborating on solutions.

  6. Search for truth. Sometimes feedback is off base and delivered without much skill or good intentions. Before you dismiss it entirely, remember that there may still be some valid insights buried in there. Think it over or ask someone you trust to help you sort it out.

  7. Suggest alternatives. Receiving feedback skillfully doesn’t always mean acting upon it. That decision is up to you. You may want to explain your position and express your willingness to work things out some other way.

Constructive feedback helps you to enjoy more happiness and success. Being open to comments and criticism will strengthen your relationships and put you on the path to achieving your potential.

 

 

Lisa Morgan Mosley
Business Growth Coach
https://www.212degreescoaching.com
lisa@212degreescoaching.com
Follow us on Facebook~ https://www.facebook.com/212degreescoaching

Project Positive Energy Onto Others

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What you achieve in life is a direct payback of what you give. Projecting positivity to others is like a boomerang that will always return to its master sooner or later. Make it known that you are an encourager who provides a shot of confidence to anyone who needs it. Consider it a blessing to be gifted with the ability to share a positive outlook that helps others grow stronger.

“We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone.” – Ronald Reagan

Do not bury your head in the sand. Extend help to all loved ones you see in conflict. Offer assistance to change their disagreements for the better. Act as a mediator to alter the mind-set of parties bogged down by disagreement. Remind others how they used to love each other. Show them how to reduce anger and open their hearts to constructive resolutions. Look for little ways to lend a helping hand. Instead of telling others how it should be, ask what role you could play in supporting others who are in crisis. Perhaps you could run a few errands, cook a meal, do a little research, or simply lend an ear.

“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” – Abraham Lincoln

We have a moral obligation to do our best in equipping our children with the positive outlook necessary to succeed in life. Children, in particular, can fall prey to negative attitudes. They are just learning to cultivate their talents and do not yet fully appreciate the concept of delayed gratification. We can encourage our children to develop a positive attitude, often, just by spending quality time with them. Let the feeling of a truly wonderful day surrounded by loving family members envelope your children. At the end of the day, talk about some of the moments you most enjoyed together. Help your child become more self-aware by inviting them to discuss their feelings, sensations, and body processes. Nurture a culture of gratitude. Gently prod your child to try again, break down complex tasks, or look at a problem from a different perspective. Model calm responses yourself. Good eye contact and a warm tone can go a long way. Choose your words carefully. Instead of saying “no” all the time, try to reframe your response in a positive manner or ask a thought-provoking query.

“I am too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful, and too determined to be defeated.” -Unknown

Set an example of positivity and productivity in your workplace that motivates others to give their all and hit their targets. Smile, laugh, and joke more often. Take a deep breath and take a walk when the task gets stressful. Show gratitude by thanking others for their contributions. Find freedom from “The Overwhelm” by saying “no” to what you don’t want and “yes” to what you need. Make room in each day for yourself and for fun to have greater freedom over your time.

Empowering Questions:

  1. What can I do to encourage people who doubt themselves?
  2. How can I reassure myself when I feel disappointed?
  3. How can I share my positive energy with others?

 

 

Lisa Morgan Mosley
Business/Corporate Coach
https://www.212degreescoaching.com
lisa@212degreescoaching.com
Follow us on Facebook~ https://www.facebook.com/212degreescoaching

 

Recognize And Analyze Complex Patterns

Of all the mental skills, pattern recognition is believed to be most linked to general intelligence. People who recognize patterns know how to discern order from chaos. Patterns can be discovered in art, symbols, numbers, words, ideas, number, routines, and nature. Complex patterns give you a more thoughtful approach to deciphering the world. Critical analytic skills can help you at work, in personal relationships, and in general problem-solving. You develop the mathematical learning and social development centers in the brain when you practice pattern recognition. You have the ability to comprehend how complex patterns work to think more critically and move confidently in your environment.

Analyzing complex patterns is a developing skill

There are many ways to strengthen your pattern recognition and learning agility skills.  Researchers have found that children who participate in art, dance, music, martial arts, and team sports are better at pattern recognition. Students who took piano lessons, in particular, scored 34% higher than their peers after six months. You can also study disciplines like architecture, computer science, mathematics, or psychology. There are a number of smart phone apps to build this skill, including IQ Test FREE, Left vs. Right, and Chess Tactics.

Recognize Negative Relationship Patterns and Break free.

According to Dr. Kristin Davin Psy.D., there are several patterns beyond the typical infidelity, addiction, and poor communication that are toxic to a romantic relationship:

  • Communicating through text and burying one’s face in technology during conversations
  • Lack of common courtesy by making unilateral decisions or failing to tell whereabouts
  • Speaking negatively about a partner in the company of others or joking in a hurtful manner
  • Failure to let the small slights go, bringing up the past, and focusing on all the negatives
  • Not thanking a partner for doing chores, running errands, cooking, or other small things

Appreciate the role patterns play in your life

Patterns make life more intriguing. Having the power to understand patterns helps you predict behavior, make more informed decisions, and derive more interest in life. Read deeper meaning in patterns that you see by using your knowledge and creativity. Use pattern recognition for good — to create better relationships, develop positive profiles of people, and appreciate beauty in the world.

 

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Empowering Questions:

  1. How do I develop my skills in deciphering complex patterns?
  2. What other roles do complex patterns play?
  3. How do I instill the knowledge of reading complex patterns in others?

 

 

Lisa Morgan Mosley
Business/Corporate Coach
https://www.212degreescoaching.com
lisa@212degreescoaching.com
Follow us on Facebook~ https://www.facebook.com/212degreescoaching

Good Health Is The Best Ingredient For Success

Health encompasses mental, physical and spiritual aspects. For your life to be ideal, you need a good measure of health in every aspect. A healthy condition can be acquired by striking a balance between exercise, rest, a proper diet, and meditation. This gives you a better chance at tackling challenges in life.

“Most People Have no idea how good their body is designed to feel.” – Kevin Trudeau

Both physical and mental health allow you to survive intense competition and stay on course. If you are healthy, there is no reason to stop pursuing your goals and dreams. Try to pack in as much activity while you are relatively young and healthy.

Mental strength tests your resolve to stay the course.

Positive affirmations are the best technique to improve your mental health. At the start of each day, look yourself in the mirror and assure yourself: I am strong. I am capable. I can tackle any difficulty life throws my way. Make it a point to spend 5-10 minutes each morning reciting a few affirmations that you can come back to throughout the day when the going gets tough. Eventually, thoughts become reality, so choose your thoughts carefully, and make them positive.

“Health is the first and greatest of all blessings.” – Lord Chesterfield

Good health by itself is a great blessing in life. If you are fortunate enough to feel well most days, you should not take this wonderful achievement for granted. Some days you may need to stop what you are doing and remember: I woke up. I am healthy. It has been a blessed day. If there was nothing else good that happened today, at least take a moment to be gracious for your good health.

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Empowering questions:

  1. How to exercise better health at work and at home?
  2. What are some of my daily activities that can negatively affect my health?
  3. How do I determine the breaking point of my mind and body?

 

 

 

Lisa Morgan Mosley
Business/Corporate Coach
https://www.212degreescoaching.com
lisa@212degreescoaching.com
Follow us on Facebook~ https://www.facebook.com/212degreescoaching

A Good Laugh Cures Life’s Ills

Deep down, you know staying happy and maintaining a cheerful outlook toward life will keep you sane and elated. But how can you feel great happiness and keep negativity at bay? Setting aside time from your busy life to focus on the bright side and laugh makes a world of difference.

People say money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you had enough money, you can have a key made. – Joan Rivers

Financial difficulties are burdensome in any person’s life. Sure, you need to face the reality of your situation. Burying your head in the sand like an ostrich won’t make your bills go away. It takes some conscious effort to say: I will not allow my financial position to afflict me and poison my spirit. I am worth more than my income. I am grateful for all that I have.

Let Precious Visions of Loved Ones Lift You Up Out Of Despair.

We know how important it is to spend time with family and friends because these little things in life are of great importance. Envision some of the moments spent with loved ones that have brightened your day. You will cherish these for the rest of your life, and these little things help keep the negativity of life away and restore a sense of greater purpose.

When you’re chewing on life’s gristle, Don’t grumble, give a whistle! – Monty Python

It’s easy to take life too seriously sometimes. Do not overlook the importance of play. Being able to step back from your problems and laugh a little is a gift to the soul. It will connect you with your inner self and help you handle life situations with much better perspective.

Laughter Is An Instant Vacation. – Milton Berle

The day you introduce laughter as the most important part of your life, you’ll notice how everything falls into place. Embrace a warm and light spirit, and you will attain a unique sense of peace.

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Empowering Questions:

  1. What is the easiest way to strike a balance between cheerfulness and contemplative behavior?
  2. What is the simplest way for me to bring happiness and warmth into other people’s lives?
  3. How can I manage my difficult times with ease?

 

 

Lisa Morgan Mosley
Business/Corporate Coach
https://www.212degreescoaching.com
lisa@212degreescoaching.com
Follow us on Facebook~ https://www.facebook.com/212degreescoaching

Enjoyment Brings Balance To My Life

Life is full of challenges to overcome. We don’t have to fixate on the difficulty of day-to-day living, though. Setting aside time for fun to ease your spirits lightens your load. Invest time in maintaining close friendships to ensure you make time for fun. Some of the happiest people on earth get together with friends for dinners, games, shared hobbies, and novel activities. Visit websites like Groupon and Living Social for ideas of unique experiences in your town.

A Reader Lives A Thousand Lives Before He Dies. – George R.R. Martin

No matter how busy you are with work and studies, reserve a little time each day for reading. Books allow you the opportunity to escape reality for a while. Indulging in a different state of mind helps you think outside your box to better prepare for challenges ahead. To keep yourself motivated, start your own book club with a group of friends or coworkers to pass along recommendations and share your thoughts.

Remember What It’s Like To Be An Unburdened Child.

Engaging in fun activities helps you relax and unlocks joy in your heart. Amusement parks are great places that transport you back to your childhood. Spend an afternoon roller skating or visit a trampoline park if there is one in your area. Hop on a playground swing. Blow bubbles. Seek out experiences that remind you what it’s like to be free as a child. Watch your favorite childhood movies again. Build a couch fort. Buy an adult coloring book. Visit the zoo. If you are blessed with young people in your life, spend some time trying to see the world fresh through their eyes.

Engage Yourself in fun activities on a daily basis.

The lighter side of life is worthy of our exploration. We need fun to lead a balanced and enriched life. One approach is to write down all the fun activities you can think of on Popsicle sticks and place them in a jar. Each day, pick one out and incorporate a little fun into your life.

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Empowering questions:

  1. What fun activities do I enjoy?
  2. How can I maintain balance between solo enjoyment and fun with friends?
  3. How do I know when it’s time to take a break in life?

 

 

Lisa Morgan Mosley
Business/Corporate Coach
https://www.212degreescoaching.com
lisa@212degreescoaching.com
Follow us on Facebook~ https://www.facebook.com/212degreescoaching

Financial Wealth Produces Inconsequential Joy

It’s easy to feel like we’d be so much happier with greater financial resources. Stop yourself right there. Take a moment to envision all the things no amount of money could buy – hearing your child say “I love you” for the first time; a surprise visit from a friend; cooking a freshly prepared meal with a loved one; the rainbow after the rain. Money can allow you to buy material goods, but it’s the relationships we have in life that matter most.

Financial wealth can be put to good use.

If you are a wealthy person, money can help you transform the lives of poor people in your community. Charitable giving fills you with tremendous happiness as you see what a difference your contribution has made to people with serious challenges in their lives and impediments to happiness. Money is a vehicle, but the person that you are inside has enabled a greater good.

An Investment In Knowledge Pays The Best Interest. – Benjamin Franklin

Another excellent use of wealth is to introduce children to new learning experiences. Investments made in your child’s future are never made in vain. Foster an early love of learning to see your budding child blossom, which will bring you great joy and purpose in life. Early educational experiences may include: music lessons, sports camp, trips to local museums and farmer’s markets, cooking classes, horseback riding lessons, art workshops, or volunteering vacations. Your child is your legacy. What sort of legacy do you want to leave?

Spend for a good cause like togetherness.

Spending quality time with your family and friends doesn’t have to cost a lot, but you may find it worthwhile to allocate greater resources to these bonding experiences, rather than to shopping sprees for material goods. Buy dinner and a movie, a family vacation, a board game you can all play together, a tent for camping, a kayaking tour, painting night, or a local Groupon activity create lasting memories for years to come.

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Empowering questions:

  1. How do I stay humble, while being a wealthy person?
  2. How can I sort out those things that bring long-term joy?
  3. How can I use my wealth for a positive cause?

 

 

Lisa Morgan Mosley
Business/Corporate Coach
https://www.212degreescoaching.com
lisa@212degreescoaching.com
Follow us on Facebook~ https://www.facebook.com/212degreescoaching